Friday, September 19, 2008

SOME GOOD CRITIQUE SAMPLE

post your critique articles here....

3 comments:

Michael Lim said...
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Michael Lim said...

Thursday September 11, 2008

Title: "What a howling shame"

ALONG THE WATCHTOWER
By M.VEERA PANDIYAN


We cannot just stand by and watch idly as the standard of English competency continues to slide.

BAD English (I certainly don’t mean the rock band) provides good laughs among Malay-sians. We tend to titter over badly constructed sentences, grammatical blunders and malapropisms.

We are also not expected to take pains to speak proper English among friends.

If we do, chances are someone is likely to chide in Manglish: “Wah, your England so powderful!”

As such, the much-blogged about advertorial on the conferment of an honorary doctorate was deemed to be highly hilarious. As a howler, it takes the cake.

But seriously, it is no matter of mirth. The citation published by an English daily on Aug 23 – no doubt inadvertently – is a clear reflection of how low our standard of English has fallen to.

What’s more appalling is that the atrocious use of the language came from a university.

And one that bears the name of the country’s illustrious third Prime Minister Tun Hussein Onn, whose son is the current Minister of Education.

With apologies to recipient of the doctorate, Her Royal Highness Raja Zarith Sofiah (who happens to be a fellow columnist in The Star), here are some excerpts:

Yang Amat Mulia Raja Zarith Sofiah binti Almarhum Sultan Idris Al-Mutawakil Alallahi Shah has born on 14th of August 1959 in Hospital Batu Gajah, Perak.

YAM Raja Zarith is a third son to Duli Yang Maha Mulia Paduka Seri Sultan Perak Darul Ridzwan and Duli Yang Maha Mulia Raja Mazuwin binti Almarhum Raja Arif Shah.

In the month of September 1972, YAM Raja Zarith Sofiah have set forth to England for further education in Chaltenham Ladies College, Gloucester-shire to form six.

Then, YAM continue learning it in Davies College London in September 1977 and his following year in receive enter to Somerville College, London after having passed Oxford Entrance Examination.

After graduated at Oxford University with Bachelor of Art in June 1983 and follow the traditional University of Oxford, YAM Raja Zarith will receive Master of Art after three years in 1986.

YAM also is a linguist follow several courses including language Mandarin at the tertiary level, French and Italy language.

As his father, YAM Raja Zarith is a person that talented in picture arts. Refinement of soul, YAM always watching natural beauty environment immortalize in the form photograph and painting to make look and reference.

YAM performance become guide to deliver the message education to general public. YAM concern on women and natural world and it custody aspect in become deep theme in painting.

And that’s just a part of it. One cannot imagine the anguish and embarrassment suffered by the learned princess as a result of its publication.

It was obviously written by someone trying to translate the original citation in Bahasa Malaysia without having any basic grounding in English, the difference between genders included.

Of late, there has been much bickering over the teaching of science and mathematics in English. The more compelling issue is the rueful state of English and its continuing downslide.

What is the competency level of teaching and using English in schools, colleges and varsities out there? Can they speak English without errors in grammar or pronunciation? Or write decent paragraphs without bloopers?

We need honest answers and the Education Ministry’s policy wonks must be sincere in accepting that it is a grim problem.

We cannot seriously hope to earn respect as an educational hub, if the command of our English continues to be lampooned.

It is indisputable that English is the lingua franca of science and technology, global business and ICT. Young Malaysians have no other choice but get a better grasp of it to understand the world and the future that it holds for them.

Over the past weeks, some have suggested bringing back English medium schools as a solution, noting the language competency among older ministers and senior civil servants who went to such schools. But that is wishful thinking.

There is nothing wrong with progressing with the National Language in the long-term advantage of unifying all Malaysians, although many ministers, MPs and top government officers are inclined to send their own children to international schools and tertiary education abroad.

Given such hypocrisy, there shouldn’t be so much narrow mindedness and jingoism linked to the usage of Bahasa Malaysia at the expense of English. Gnashing teeth over this just to score political points can only result in Malaysians lagging further behind.

It has been 11 years since the Education Ministry set up two high-powered panels to plan programmes to improve proficiency levels among secondary school and university students.

Among the strategies were better training and development of teachers, progressive teaching and learning methods, diversifying resources, innovative testing systems, effective monitoring and research and development.

It is plain that these plans have not worked. We have to wake up to reality and catch up with the rest.

Associate Editor M. Veera Pandiyan likes this assertion by 1992 Nobel laureate Derek Walcott: “The English Language is nobody’s special property. It is the property of imagination: it is the property of the language itself.”













CRITIQUE:

1st part - Introduction

A critical review of the article ‘What a howling shame’, by columnist M. Veera Pandiyan, published in the 11th of September 2008 (Thursday) edition of The Star newspaper. The article addresses the falling standard of English in Malaysia. It is a very relevant article as it discusses the deterioration of English among Malaysians in an age when the language is more important than ever. Overall it is a well written article that clearly highlights the low competency level of English in our society.

2nd part - Summary of the article

The article talks about the decreasing standard of English among Malaysians. It focuses in particular on an advertorial by the Tun Hussein Onn University regarding the conferment of an honorary doctorate as an example of the atrocious use of English. The fact that the advertorial came from an institute of education is a clear indication of the terrible standard of English in our country. The author states that the Education Ministry should urgently look into the competency level of English in schools and universities. He agrees that the usage of Bahasa Malaysia, the National Language, is important to the promotion of unity in Malaysia but that it should not be at the expense of English. A good command of English is very necessary in this technological age. Lastly, the article discusses the setting up of two high powered panels by the Education Ministry 11 years ago to improve the standard of English among students but which have not yielded any results.

3rd part - Analysis

The issue addressed in the article is of extreme importance to our society and country today. It highlights the deteriorating standard of English in our country at a time when the language is indispensable to promoting the growth and prosperity of the nation. The author is not a moment too soon in writing this article as the proficiency of English continues to grow worse as even our educational institutions display an embarrassing use of the language. However, the author only shows one example of the bad usage of English. He does not include any other evidence or statistics to support his assertions of the falling standard of English in our country. The author also remains objective throughout the article by basing his arguments regarding the need to improve the level of English proficiency in our society on the fact that English is the main medium of communication in the world today rather than on his personal beliefs. Although the article clearly manages to show the low standard of English in Malaysia, it does not discuss the reasons for the deterioration nor the ways to overcome the problem. As such, it is not very practical as it only highlights the problem but provides no solutions.

4th part - Conclusion

In summary, this article does a good job in highlighting the deficiencies in the competency of English in our country. It provides a good insight into the importance of a good command of English in today’s world. However, it could include more explanation on the reasons for the falling standard of English and the ways to improve the situation.


Thank you.

p00-3 said...

Title:Being ‘write on’
JUST A MINUTE
By JOANNA ABISHEGAM


HAVE you heard the one about the black, bisexual, one-legged Jew? Yeah, I thought not! So tell me, did you cringe with anxiety when you read that sentence? I don’t blame you if you did. In this day and age, one wouldn’t even dream of stringing those words together with the probability of a punch line behind them, for fear of the politically correct (PC) police descending on you like a ton of bricks!

Welcome to the 21st century — where one is required to tread carefully for fear of saying the wrong thing in a landscape littered with verbal land-mines waiting to detonate at the utterance of a single non-PC syllable. Don’t get me wrong. I’d be the first one to object at the use of language which was deliberately and openly intended to be derogatory.

However, when the connection to racism or offensiveness is tenuous at best, obscure at worst, and has long been forgotten by most people, no one should be entitled to make an issue out of it.

Yesterday, at a meeting at work, I was told that we should now avoid using the phrase ‘brainstorming’ to describe thought-gathering, because it’s apparently a phrase used by people with epilepsy to describe what happens when they have a fit.

Even discussing the weather isn’t safe any more. My friend described the heat wave we are going through in London as an “Indian summer” only to be told that “we don’t use that phrase anymore”.

For heaven’s sake, I’m Indian and if I wasn’t offended by the phrase, I don’t know why anyone else should!

But being politically correct can be a funny thing. It’s been more than a decade since I’ve moved to Britain and it’s still a difficult concept to get my head around.

Coming from the great melting pot of cultures and races that make up Malaysia, I grew up with the notion that humour was a great equaliser and it was OK to poke gentle fun at the expense of your mates – no matter what race they were – because it was done without malice.

And it seemed to work out fine. As long as people kept to the basic decencies of knowing when, who and what to speak of, and to do it without causing offence, we all rubbed along fine, and I grew up indulging in some of the best humour in my life.

Tell me, have things changed in Malaysia? Because in Britain, political correctness is threatening to go too far, and it’s the smaller examples that display the lunacy of it all. For example, James has to struggle put sun cream on himself at school because teachers are not allowed to ‘handle’ the children. Just last week he was climbing up a really steep climbing frame in the school yard, and I got really cross and gave him a smack on his bottom.

You would have thought I had performed a lap dance in the middle of prayer time at assembly, the looks I received for that! And at the school concert, parents were cautioned against taking ‘inappropriate’ photographs – the underlying premise being that we all might have been pederasts in disguise! It’s enough to make you want to stand up and yell “Enough already!”, if it wasn’t too un-PC to do so.

But I refuse to be shackled by convention. Dinner parties at our house are known to be slightly ‘alternative’ because we encourage our guests to freely discuss ‘hot button’ issues like religion or immigration or politics – as long as we do it for intelligent and stimulating discourse.

However, I’d be the first person to agree that there is a time and a place to be politically correct.

I work in the publications department of a government organisation that is responsible for most everything the government wants to communicate to the citizens of this country. And for that purpose we have a roster that specialises in communicating with Black and Minority Ethnic communities – worth approximately £3mil per annum – to ensure that what we say in government campaigns takes into account the cultural nuances of the citizens.

The suppliers who make up this list are specialists at engaging a wide range of audiences and emerging communities like Eastern Europeans and faith groups are on the radar.

But the division also deals with refugees and asylum seekers, new arrivals in Britain and gypsies and travellers. Because, while it might be funny to say something slightly dubious when you are among friends, it’s a whole different ball game to offend or antagonise when you are the Government, and I think the work these people do are amazing.

Yes, being PC can be taken too far, but there is a time and a place for it.

A couple of years ago I was sitting in a debrief meeting at my previous job, when a colleague said that the project would have gone a lot smoother “if we didn’t have to work with those bloody IT guys from India who couldn’t speak English to save their lives”. No, I wasn’t amused.

So, it’s not witty to call black people racist names, and it’s not funny to insult gay people or not very clever to put down someone’s religion. Because taking the piss with your mates might be hilarious, but you need to know when to draw the line. Someone once said as long as political correctness stands for self-examination, then it is nothing short of a duty in a responsible society. Where it amounts to the repression of freedom of thought, however, is a whole different story.


Joanna Abishegam-David is a Malaysian born journalist and writer who lives and works in London. She can be reached at joanna.david05@gmail.com












CRITIQUE:

1st part-Introduction

The author Joanna Abishegam-David is a Malaysian born journalist and writer who lives in London for more than a decade.She now works in the publication department of a government organisation,which is responsible for most everything the government wishes to communicate with the citizans. She points out a phenomenon called 'Politically Correctness' (PC) which has gone almost too far in Britain. But she states that this phenomenon occurs worldwide, but the severity differs from one place to another. One may not have the freedom to speak freely anymore, for fear that other might take offense if unsuitablewords. are used. Now,this is of course an important issue as people have to watch their tongue carefully and could eventually leads to fear of speaking their own opinions. and minds. If people were to take offenses for every words uttered, then interracial communication is next to impossible. I agree wholeheartedly with the issue stated. I think that the time has come to ponder this issue thoroughly, especially since Malaysia is a multi-racial country. Being politically correct is important at times, but we do want to speak our minds freely,don't we?


2nd part-Summary

It is obvious from the tect that politically correctness has taken its toll on people nowadays. It limits one's actions and word, that will eventually leads to fear of expressing one's own mind. Words that are considered 'inappropriate' are no longer used and words that 'might' offend are banned at all. However,despite the limitations of being politically correct, the author states that at certain times and at certain places, politically correctness might be the thing to follow. When one might take it to heart because of the words and actions, then playing by the rules of politically correctness may be the safest route in conversations. Being a sensible person, she adds in by knowing when to take or not to take offenses because of words. If a certain word has been used so many times before to describe something and clearly DO NOT mean to offend, why not continue using it? But it is a whole different story if one call racist names, or insult others or even put down one's religion. If being a sensible audience is knowing when to take offense, then being a sensible speaker means knowing when to abide to politically correctness rules.


3rd part-Analysis

I think this author has stated a very vital point because Malaysia is a multi-racial nation where wrong words or suspicious acts may cause havoc storming through the country. Maybe being politically correct is useful when it involves the politics, especially during ccritical political war among the leaders. Say and act correctly, and you are safe. Nonetheless, I might have to point out that Joanna Abhishegam-David is currently taking residence in Britain, and not MAlaysia. Thus, comparisons between Malaysia and Britain may not be relevant because the situations are different. What is considered as improper words and actions in Britain may not be considered that in Malaysia. However, this author has given us a peak of the future what MAlaysia would be like if politically corrrectness has gone way beyond the limits. I couldn't agree more on the practicality of the issue discussed. I agree that politically correctness is important and must be applied but not all the time and certainly not everywhere. Conversations among friends ahould be in a more relax form. If one is not allowed to joke around because of being politically correct, then I imagine the world would be a dull place indeed. And if by being politically correct limits from expressing one's thoughts and ideas, then the world won't become a better place forever. The author has stated a series of acceptable reasons for being or not being politically correct. Treading carefully with proper actions and words is important to prevent from offending others. But eventhough I agree with the author, I fail to ignore the facts that the author's arguments were not supported by any researches or any other experts' opinions, but only from her own experiences. Thus, I must say that her arguments are weak indeed.


4th part-Conclusion

I have come to an agreeable term with the author regarding the issues mentioned. It is agreed that being politically correct is important but one should know when and where to abide by this rule. If politically correctness stands for self-examination, then it is an acceptable manner, but it is a whole different matter if it amounts up to limitations of one's freedom.

Thank you.


p/s: Thank you Fizi for posting this topic as soon as possible after my request. You have my life easier (and my Raya happier too, in this case)